You're completely useless in the revolution.
She is in my trunk
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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