I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i now understand why vodka
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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