your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
