I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
