you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
