That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
