Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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