Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
