I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
