Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
