U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
