This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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