Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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