Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
