and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
