i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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