So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
