Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
