So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
