The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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