the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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