i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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