For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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