I just cut my nipple shaving
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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