Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
