There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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