I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
