Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
