what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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