Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
