Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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