When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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