Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
