He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
