Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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