I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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