How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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