Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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