I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic