Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.

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  (732): You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up. http://tfl.nu/jzsw
  Replies (8) Good night (768) Bad night (3108)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.

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  (905): the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest. http://tfl.nu/4jgv
  Replies (30) Good night (1279) Bad night (4164)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me they were just razor bumps!

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  (203): He told me they were just razor bumps! http://tfl.nu/2b3s
  Replies (48) Good night (1667) Bad night (24757)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.

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  (313): We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights. http://tfl.nu/0a84
  Replies (29) Good night (5017) Bad night (795)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

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  (678): This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes. http://tfl.nu/jrvg
  Replies (63) Good night (7111) Bad night (948)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...

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  (617): Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh... http://tfl.nu/to9x
  Replies (16) Good night (4710) Bad night (1027)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.

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  (606): Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes. http://tfl.nu/z8mg
  Replies (23) Good night (3662) Bad night (2114)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Have you been tested recently?

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune

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  (520): Have you been tested recently? (1-520): Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune http://tfl.nu/i2uj
  Replies (16) Good night (1353) Bad night (7397)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just realized these events may be related.

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  (352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd
  Replies (21) Good night (6669) Bad night (2263)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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  (541): I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me. http://tfl.nu/2bgd
  Replies (9) Good night (2896) Bad night (1347)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.

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  (313): She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home. http://tfl.nu/iyq0
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (709)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.

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  (813): Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over. http://tfl.nu/p98p
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (395)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo

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  (703): The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo http://tfl.nu/r2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (450)
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  (415): View more from California

  My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.

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  (415): My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years. http://tfl.nu/u3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (357)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.

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  (256): I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night. http://tfl.nu/dalv
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (282)

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