Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.