Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.

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  (307): i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian. http://tfl.nu/fuqa
  Replies (46) Good night (4495) Bad night (1170)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ew, and?!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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  (703): She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal. (540): Ew, and?! (703): Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards. http://tfl.nu/xpq2
  Replies (36) Good night (964) Bad night (7739)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.

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  (304): I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster. http://tfl.nu/69p8
  Replies (34) Good night (3518) Bad night (2340)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.

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  (617): Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/pm4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1334) Bad night (2979)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

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  (618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla
  Replies (8) Good night (1549) Bad night (519)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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  (306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv
  Replies (6) Good night (1864) Bad night (785)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness

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  (412): I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness http://tfl.nu/j7n1
  Replies (4) Good night (1502) Bad night (646)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.

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  (814): So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird. http://tfl.nu/r3xq
  Replies (3) Good night (1214) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?

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  (720): Passed out drunk in a tanning bed... (303): Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time? http://tfl.nu/3i4a
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (604)
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  (619): View more from California

  If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.

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  (619): If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home. http://tfl.nu/v77a
  Replies (3) Good night (412) Bad night (920)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.

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  (505): I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask. http://tfl.nu/ia8j
  Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (448)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.

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  (318): U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off. http://tfl.nu/1s94
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (248)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night

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  (414): Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night http://tfl.nu/d0sx
  Replies (0) Good night (231) Bad night (390)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay

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  (330): I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay http://tfl.nu/przh
  Replies (4) Good night (320) Bad night (371)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.

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  (425): I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry. http://tfl.nu/g914
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (213)

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