She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void