So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.