when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
