The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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