I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There r osticjed everywhere
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
