Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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