so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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