Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize