Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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