She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
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Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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