best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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