I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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