Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
