Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
