I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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