No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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