birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
These tits shall not be calmed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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