I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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