Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
