Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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