My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
