i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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